..happy enough

"...happy enough." (Mukherjee, 21) This thought, this one moment in the book Jasmine by Bharati Mukherjee reveals the character's true feelings about her life. She realizes that she is not happy with her circumstances, and that she is sacrificing her own visions and dreams for someone else's. Whether out of pity or a guilty conscience, Jasmine subdues her longings for another life.

    As humans, all of us share one thing in common: dreams. Each of us has desires, goals, and longings, big and small. Whether it is as simple as finishing a test in a class so we can go be with friends, or as vast as trying to re-build a village in Zimbabwe; each are equally task-oriented desires. Is life just simply a cycle of "Eat, drink, and be merry" routine? Or are we built for more? For me, true satisfaction comes from helping others. Granted, most of us spend the majority of our time solving and fulfilling our own needs. But what if gave out of ourselves, rather than horde the treasure in us?

    Maybe for some of us, happiness is getting the career we've always dreamed of, or marrying the perfect person and having the perfect house, with the perfect dog, and perfect kids. Maybe it's just as simple as surviving and graduating college. Whatever the case may be, all are centered toward self-fulfilling and self-preserving ideologies.

    In Mukherjee's novel, Jasmine's dilemma is trying to cope with this balance of perspective. Does she stay and take care of Bud in order that he might be happy at the expense of her own? Or does she leave and pursue her own dream? For Jasmine, sometimes is seems that the decision is not so simple. Her very reason for leaving India was to escape the repression of women in her society. To her, America seemed full of promise and hope, a place to chase her dream. Unfortuately for Jasmine, she becomes tangled in the same system that plagued her before, except this time, the only one holding the shackles is herself. Her inner self keeps her prisoner from breaking free. Perhaps it is the residual effect of India's social class system that is still pervasive in her mindset.

    There comes a turning point for Mukherjee that awakes something within her soul. Mukherjee writes, "My third eye glows, a spotlight trained on lives to come. This isn't a vision to share with Bud." (Mukherjee, 21) In this moment, she realizes that as Bud kisses her, she comes alive, not to him, but to something that has been buried deep within her. Again she feels the split in her soul that causes a stagnation to consume her. Robert Burton, author of Artists of the Floating World accurately describes her condition: " At the same time that she is aware of the weight of her past, she is open to the possibilites of the future. (Burton, 87).

    Truly, Jasmine's character is in a place of turmoil. Most of us can say that we have all had our doubts about life's decisions, especially when those decisions involve the welfare of others. Like Jasmine, I too have encountered people in my life like Bud, who seem to literally drain the life out of me. In these certain circumstances, it becomes better to leave that person to their own devices. Those kind of judgement calls are difficult, and I believe that Mukherjee is trying in some way to illuminate this problem. Once again, there is no simple solution, but there is an easy principle I find helpful to live by. This priniciple is simply the sacrifice of oneself for another.